Dead Falling
by A-dizzle
Summary: Technically a parody of Dead Rising and it has Sora and Roxas and some other characters... WARNING: VERY RANDOM you have been warned now read a review :
1. Chapter 1

**RtO****: this is one of my other stories ****basically**** a parody of Dead rising… I think the title gave it away…**

**Sora: no fucking duh!**

**RtO****: Alma will you kindly set Sora on fire please**

**Alma: how much will I get out of this**

**RtO****: JUST DO IT! Also I dun own ****nuttin**

**Alma: sets Sora on fire WHOOO BURN BABY BURN!!**

---

Some random Mall

"Roxas why the fuck are you draggin me to the mall with you?" I asked.

"I dunno." Some random emo guy replied.(A/N: that happened to me once… please don't ask)

"Who the hell asked you?" I said.

"Life is pointless." The emo said.

Roxas and I looked at each other. "WTF mate." We both said at the same time.

"Oh well," Roxas said.

"Now I believe I asked you a question Roxas." I said pissed off.

Roxas just shrugged and said, "I need a skateboard."

"I fucking hate you." I said.

"Sure whatever."

We walked over to Olympia Sport. "Just pick one out and let's get the hell outta here." I said.

"Hey look its Larxene and Alma over there." Roxas said

. I just shrugged and grabbed a skateboard. Larxene and Alma(A/N: from F.E.A.R evil little bitch in her fuckin red dress…) walked over.

"Hey bitches." Larxene said.

I turned around then I saw the most horrifying thing in my life. "MOTHER FATHER!(A/N: Replace from mother fu- ahh you know what I'm talking about) ZOMBIE!!!"

I swung the skateboard around and nailed Larxene and Alma in the face. "Oh, whoops sorry." I said.

Dicey and Alma were twitching on the floor.

"PWNED BITCH!" Roxas yelled randomly.

"What the fuck?"

"Sorry couldn't help it I play halo 2 too much."

"Obviously." I said under my breath.

"WELL WE MIGHT AS WELL HEAD TO THE SKATE PARK." Roxas said.

"Why are you talking in caps?" I said lookin at him weirdly.

"I dunno." Roxas said.

---

We skated to the skate park Roxas falling on his ass every two fucking seconds.

"God dammit stop falling!!" I yelled.

"Calm down fo shizzle my nizzle." Roxas said getting up.

"The fuck?" I said for the millionth time today.

"Whatever." Roxas said getting on the board and pushing off.

Finally after Roxas falling on his ass a bunch more times we _actually_ made it to the skate park. Then we saw this little kid that looked exactly like Hitler. It took us about five minutes to register what the fuck that was. Roxas and I looked at each other and at the same time we yelled,

"LIL' HITLER!!!"(A/N: Robot chicken xD)

The mini Hitler looked at us.

"Momma I will need the dork's skate board now." Hitler said talking about Roxas. "But Hitler you can't even skate board."

"Mini Nazis! Take her away!!" Hitler yelled.

I just walked up to him and kicked him and then started skating. I landed a kick flip and then smirked at Roxas. Roxas tried it and almost snapped his board.

"Fuck you." He said.

"And I love you too." I replied smugly.

Roxas landed a heel flip surprisingly. "Ha beat that!" He said.

I did a nose manual to kick flip and smirked at him again. All of a sudden the Easter bunny came and landed a 900.

"What the fuck?" Roxas said.

Then all of a sudden Yoda came out of nowhere and started flipping in mid air really slow. Then this random guys started screaming,

"FLIPPY FLIPPY FLIPPY!"(A/N: Star Wars parody xD) Over and over again.

I started getting frustrated with Yoda so I grabbed a metal bat and hit Yoda really hard with it.

Awkward silence...

Previously on Dead Falling (A/N: Thank you guy with a really deep voice xD)

I swung the bat as hard as I could. It connected with Yoda's big ugly green head.

"Asshole you be!!!!!" He screamed while flying away.

"Well that was amusing I didn't think he'd go so far." I said slightly amused.

"Dude, why do you have to be so mean hitting midgets with a bat?" Roxas said.

"I'm not a midget you idiot!!" You could hear Yoda yell.

"Fine, _vertically challenged_ people." Roxas rolled his eyes.

"That's better." Yoda said.

'Did I just hear a bird die?' Roxas pondered.

---

Alma was walking down the hall in her red dress towards the man she was about to kill. All of a sudden she slipped on the blood she was walking in that was up to her calves. She got up quickly and pretended she didn't fall.

"WHO THE FUCK PUT THAT BLOOD THERE!" She screamed in a demonic voice.

"You put it there." A random guy said.

"I DIDN'T ASK YOU!" She screamed again and she set the guy on fire.

"Aw man, I got blood on my dress." She moaned.

"B-but y-your d-d-dress i-is a-already r-red." Another random guy stuttered seeing what happened to the first random guy.

"I DIDN'T ASK YOU EITHER!" She screamed while setting the guy on fire.

10 Minutes later…

Alma stood in front of two headstones. One of them read:

_Here lies random guy number 1_

_He was __uhh__, nice? And he'll be missed?_

_He spontaneously combusted_

And the other read:

_Here lies random guy number 2_

_Same thing as the other guy but I'm too lazy to write it_ (A/N: that's longer xD)

_He also spontaneously combusted_

Then Larxene walked in. "What the hell?" She said.

"Uhh, whoops?" Alma said innocently.

Then this random American kid sat there and said, "It's not _my_ problem."

Then a Japanese kid came over and knocked his soda over. "Ugh, now it's _my _problem." He said. (A/N: Robot Chicken again…

Crrssh.

"What the hell?" Larxene said.

Crrssh.

"Hey stop that!"

Crrssh.

"MOTHER FU-"

Crrssh.

Alma and Larxene just sat there pissed off.

Crrssh.

Alma held a gun to the screen the fired. Then the TV went out.

"Oh, thank god!" Larxene screamed.

"By the way, where'd you get the gun?" Larxene asked.

"Uhh, internet?" Alma said. (A/N: Fairly Odd Parents xD)

Crrssh.

"DAMMIT!"

Crrssh.

---

**RtO****: And ****theres**** the first chapter of my new story I'll try to update every other week maybe**

**Sora: No you aren't**

**RtO: ****Uhh****… yeah I am**

**Sora: No you're not**

**RtO****: STFU! Sets Sora on fire**


	2. Long boring ass car ride

**RtO: Don't own anything blah blah blah here the second chapter where the zombies come in… oops did I just say that? Oh well where was I**** oh yeah read and review and enjoy.**

---

Finally we got away from the wrath of Yoda. Roxas had a few cuts and bruises. I was fine. After all, all I did was laugh as Roxas got beat up. Hey, don't call me lazy laughing is hard work too ya know. I got a cramp so nyah I ain't lazy nuff said.

"What do we do now?" Roxas said. We were back at my house and we were just sitting there on my couch.

"Uhh? Let's watch some TV." I said. I switched on the TV and the news was on.

"Zombies are attacking the city report to the mall immediately. No questions." The reporter said.

"Uhh… ok let's head to the mall?" I said.

"NO QUESTIONS!" The reporter screamed.

"Uhh… ok." I stopped and thought, '_Wait, which mall?' _"Which mall?" I asked.

"Umm it's at the Portland one I think…" The reporter replied thoughtfully."

Roxas moaned, "But why can't it be at Bangor mall, Portland is like 2 hours away…"

"Tough shit."

"Man you're mean."

The reporter sighed and rolled his eyes, "Just shut the fuck up and go to the Portland mall before I send the big fat black lady on you."

Roxas looked horrified. I just laughed. "Well come on before that guy pms's on us more."

---

Roxas and I hopped inside my car and drove off. Since the streets were abandoned and there were no cops I went about 140 max.

"Hey dude, I'm hungry." Roxas complained.

I looked at him then at the duffel bag in the back seat.

"Check in there." I said.

He opened the bag gasped then BAM! He passed out.

"Roxas." I said looking over to him, trying to wake him up. He didn't budge.

"Roxas!" I tried louder. He still didn't move. Goddamn he was a heavy sleeper… wait a minute I knocked him out… or no he knocked himself out… or wait, ahh whatever. Now how the fuck do you reverse a person being knocked… OH! I know knock em out again! But to wake them up… dammit I'm confusing myself…. I looked behind me and grabbed the conveniently placed metal bat and brought it out front. I brought the bat above my head, not paying attention to then road, and not having my hands on the steering wheel, still going 140 mph, not really giving a shit, and swung its down so it collided with Roxas's head. At the same time the bat hit his head I hit something with my car. (A/N: Ironic, no? xD) Roxas woke up pretty damn fast. The first words that came out of his mouth was,

"Ow, what the fuck!?! And did you just hit something? Also where you get all that stuff in the bag?"

Damn he had a lot of questions. I stopped and thought for a second answering each question carefully.

"I had to wake you up, Yeah I probably did, And I have my resources."

I threw the bat back in the back. And for the first time in about five minutes actually paid attention to the road… but something was different… umm maybe for the fact that, THERES FUCKING ZOMBIES EVERYWHERE! The only words that came out of my mouth was,

"HOLY SHIT!!"

"What?" Roxas asked quizzically stuffing a brownie in his mouth.

"Look at the road, oh smart one." I retorted.

Roxas looked at the road.

"Ok thafs cool I guess." He said with his brownie in his mouth. Then he did a quic double take.

"HOLY JESUS!" He yelled spitting his brownie everywhere.

"Argh thanks Rox." Sora said calling Roxas by his nick-name.

"Uhh, whoops?" He said smiling sheepishly. "Got any PPT?" Referring to paper towel.

I just rolled my eyes, "Just check in the bag," I said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Then I quickly added, "And don't pass out again please."

Roxas laughed, "Yeah I won't, but seriously where'd you get all this stuff?"

"I told you, I have my resources." I said while laughing.

---

I was bored. I let Roxas drive and he was driving too fucking slow! I finally got fed up and said,

"Roxas let me drive." Roxas laughed. He loved how we switched seats. He out his seat down, as did I. He did a backwards somersault and I hopped into his abandoned seat. Then he hopped into mine. We both put the seats up at the same time. We never really knew how this worked out cause, who was driving for the seconds that no one was at the wheel. I guess Casper drove for us.

"Thanks Casper." I whispered silently laughing. Roxas looked at me weird.

"Did you just say 'Thanks Casper'?" He asked while laughing.

"Yeah… yeah I guess I did." I said quietly.

I sat there sat thought for a minute. Not paying attention to the road. (A/N: Of course xD)

"What do you think happened to our friends?" I asked Roxas.

He just shrugged, "I dunno what do you think?"

"Hmm… I honestly don't know either but I think they're at the mall shopping." I said laughing. Roxas started cracking up too.

"Hey wanna stop at wally-world for a sec?" I asked referring to Wal-Mart.

"For what?" Roxas asked curiously.

"You'll see." I said with a sly smirk. I took the nearest exit and we almost immediately spotted a Wal-Mart.

"Well that was easy and super convenient." Roxas said slightly amazed.

"Yeah it was."

I quickly parked right in front of the Wal-Mart. Then ran out of my car like a little boy running from Michael Jackson. (A/N: Sorry I just had to put that XD) Roxas struggled to keep up with me. I heard him mutter something about Sora being too damn fast. I just laughed.

"Why are you going so fast!?!" Roxas yelled. I had finally stopped. I had reached my destination. I fell to the ground and kissed the floor. We had reached: The video games.

---

**RtO****: There it is chapter 2 I hope you enjoyed it.**

**Riku: They didn't enjoy it ****cause**** it sucked**

**RtO****: shut up Riku shoots him in the head Read ****And**** Review!!! Or Joey will come after you.**


	3. WallyWorld pt 1

**RtO: Ok this is a really fast-typed chapter for ****ze**** story ****cause**** I'm too lazy to do anything else. If I own anything, I know where you all live.**

Two hours later

"Oh yeah look at that Roxas, PWNED!!" I screamed sniping him in the head.

"GRAWWWARGHARGHARRAGH!"

"Shh! Not right now random zombie! I'm trying to pwn Roxas right now!"

"GRAAAAAAAAWGHRGH!"

"Can't you see I'm trying-"

"GRAWWWWW"

"Ok fine! You can play, CHRIST!"

One hour later

"Sora, you do notice that we've been playing with a random zombie, the Easter bunny, and the Lucky Charms cereal guy for the past hour right?"

"Nooo!! I got beat by a fucking zombie!!! How!?!"

"I think I'll give you a couple of minutes to comprehend that."

"Oh… yeah right…. Oi! Mister Lucky Charms Guy! Just give the kids the fucking cereal already!! Christ your cereal sucks anyways! And Easter bunny you're supposed to be in the Great One's (Me of course) other story now get! And Mr. Zombie, you're really just a drunken hobo with no life aren't you? "

"Yeah I guess."

"So I guess-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s…"

"C'mon get on with it!" Roxas screamed.

Another long awkward silence

Previously on Dead Falling… and Sora? You owe me a lot of fuckin money.

"Um deep cool guy's voice can you do just one favor for me? I'll pay you extra."

What is it now?

"Say: Luke I am your father and then scream NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Really dramatically and then say: No Padame, I am your Baby's daddy."

Fine but that's a hundred bucks extra.

"Just get it from Roxas, he owes me two-hundred from a bet he lost, ha ha sucker."

"Hey!"

Luke I am your father… can't believe I'm gonna say this…

**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!**

No, Padame I am your baby's daddy.

Everyone fell on the floor laughing… and I'm pretty sure we weren't the only one's laughing either… but whatever.

"Aw man," I wiped a tear from my eye, "You've seen that!?!"

Yeah man that's pretty funny

I swear to god I just heard Ms. Campbell's man laugh in the background…

"Hey man… I think we should go check out the food isle real quick cause 1. I'm hungry and 2. Something is over there…" Roxas pointed out.

"How the hell would you know?" he smirked.

"I have my resources."

I glared at him. "I hate you so fucking much."

"Aw, and I love you too Sor-Sor." Alright, that fuckers getting it. He used my nick-name and one of my quotes in the same sentence.

"I swear to god I'm going to fucking kill you." Shit. That threat was _**SO **_empty, it's worse than fucking Xemnas. (A/N: Bad joke I know… too busy makin fun of KeybladeAngel34)

"Sora, Sora. Violence is never the answer." He sighed, shaking his finger.

I lowered my head. "Roxas….?"

"Yes?"

"Say… goodnight."

Ten minutes later

Roxas was tied up, strapped to a tricycle- shut up that's all I could find- and had duct tape over his mouth.

"Mmmph uuumm mmmfrmmfr." It was hardly distinguishable but I understood it.

"Aw Roxy, that wasn't nice. Now, let's go check out what's in the food area, meaning just you." I picked him up and slid two skateboards under him. I looked down the food aisle and looked back at Roxas. He looked terrified.

"Here we go!" I yelled pushing him down the aisle as hard as I could.

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM-" CRASH!

To be continued…

**RtO: Well there you have it. ****Chapter whatever of Dead falling.**** I know I know it's short. I'm too busy explaining, getting yelled at, and getting virtually hit by Angel.**


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